Sunday, 8 July 2012

Day 7: Bottomless Pit Reached

Have hit rock bottom.
Waves of relief and misery sweep over me.

Still not able to sleep instead have a nightmare.
Dreaming of a ghost in an old house.
Whispy figures drifting around in dark places.

My flat has been my sanctuary and has always offered me a place of comfort. 
What's going on?

Really miss Prince Charming.
Keep turning over to the other side of the bed.
He's missing.

This is not how I planned my future to be.
Remind yourself that you didn't actually plan but I always thought he would be here by my side always.

Scared about what the future holds.

Shish, what will happen in 10 years time when I'm by myself.

A spinster.
Sitting on a rocking chair, knitting.
Just like that scene in Psycho.

I really need to get a grip and stop this silliness.
Can't go on like this.
Today is the last day of wallowing in my self-pity.
So make it a good one, and your last one.

Tomorrow will be better but need to plan my time for the evenings and weekends if tomorrow is to be better.
Let me focus on things to do.
The more busy I am, the less time for wallowing.

Plan exercise routine for the week. Remember the run in September - Will be fun.
I need to get in shape.
Will get rid of stress.
Will look better perhaps hot in front of Prince Charming?

Classes booked for the next 10 days.
Lots of power plates, pilates, and rebounding (jumping on trampoline).
Will try out the Kylie butt lift too. I wonder what that will be like,

Look at sewing classes.
Decision made.

Will use holidays for sewing classes in August.
Need to check with boss on Monday.

Go to bed early.
No more Hercule Poirot for me (I can guess all the plot lines now, mon amie.)

Tomorrow have a barbie.
Gym in the morning
Dancing later

It all starts tomorrow. 
A fresh beginning?

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