Day 14: How To Get Over A Broken Heart Tip #1

The Patient & Symptom

Remedy #1:

Link to clip Watch trailer

Remedy #2:

HOT TOTTY AKA actor playing Mr Rochester (Michael Fassbender)...Yummy

Result:

YES, YES, YES!!!

P.S Seems my Day 13 update: Move Like Jagger wasn't properly released.
Take a look at my moves.

Day 13: Move Like Jagger

Before, it strikes midnight and I turn into A PUMPKIN!

Today is when I realised I need to

Click song link
You Tube Song_Move Like Jagger_Maroon 5


So pick myself up, stop overanalysing.
It's just not me.

I need to MOVE ON and come up with some really cool plans.


Just in time before it hits midnight!

Day 12: A Case Of Withering Heights & Jane Eyre

Yes, I am still sleeping terribly (manage 3 hours).
The text from Prince Charming must have been playing on my mind.
Understand now why you need to have ZERO CONTACTwith exes
Or until one of you is dating


Looks as though I will need to bring in the Reinforcements
Contact my Friend S, the natropath.
I am hoping she can mix me up a great sleeping potion 
or alternatively suggest some exercises that I can do.




We discuss the 50 Shades of Naffness (AKA Grey) at work again.
I share the following review with a friend.
Scroll down to the review by Jelly 1960 
50 Shades of Grey Book Review - Hilarious Read
She nearly falls off her chair laughing.

We then go on to discuss

• Withering Heights and 
• Jane Eyre

I can't believe we discuss these literary classics in the same breath as 50 Shades!

Very timely.
The old romantic in me.
Finding these books, Again.
Am I looking for hope or am I disillusioned with the whole LOVE thing?

End up buying both books for only £2.50 each
from Waterstones.
Result!

Also buy Jane Eyre dvd You Tube Clip
which stars Mia Wasikowska and Dame Judy Dench.
Will arrive tomorrow.
Can't wait.


Another gym class.
This time pilates.
I must be the only person in the entire UNIVERSE
Who manages to sweat during pilates,

Either that
Or it must be the alcohol seeping out of my pores.

Is it too early to say if I am getting into the gym habit?


Leave work early.
Plan for this evening:

• Start Jane Eyre
• Skype Friend S for advice on sleeping (if I can work out how to)
• TLC

A thought crosses my mind, perhaps I can start drawing again?
(Sorry if this entry is mumbo jumbo, I am literally falling asleep whilst I write this.....)

Day 11: Looking Glass

1am.

Ready to sleep.

Will tonight be the night?

Will I manage to sleep for more than 2 hours?

Decide to break a habit.

Recall reading somewhere - If you want to change a behaviour you need to break the habit.

Sleep on the other side of the bed - Prince Charming's old spot.

Put Shrekkie to sleep on my pillow.

Stretch out.

Super yawn.

Star shape made.

Jackpot hit. 

Fall asleep.

Manage 6 hours!

Still late for work.

Blame it on overexercised bum cheeks.

At work, hear the sweetest thing.

Work colleague (50+, divorcee, 2 kids) confesses he has something very important to tell me.

Hold breathe in anticipation.

Has he won the lottery?

No.

He has been dating someone for over a week.

Bless him.

His face is lit up with happiness and loveliness.

50+ has made my day!

Keep busy.

Realise this tactic stops me from thinking about Prince Charming.

I am an Ostrich.

Stick my head in the sand. 

Don't like to procrastinate

Squeeze in gym session.

Jumping up and down on a mini-trampoline.

No sense of coordination, as I see my arms and legs fly everywhere.

Bang goes my superstar singing career.

Singing to Wiggle Wiggle LMFAP - Sexy and I Know It

Have a team bonding session at work.

Not the 50 shades type,

More a few drinks down pub type.

One of my team had just split up with her other half.

She's getting quite emotional (understatement) and very tipsy (scarily like single white female scary).

It's not even 6pm.

She's behaving like a TIT.

I look over at her.

She must be so unhappy if she is behaving like this.

Drinking doesn't help - It just muddies the waters.

Ask myself - Have I been here?

Yes.

View myself through the looking glass.

Do I want to return to this spot?

No.

I am 30+ and need to find a more constructive way of dealing with SHIT.

Need to be grateful for things in my life.

Acknowledge that I am devastated that Prince Charming and I have split up but need to move on.

It's no excuse for Imploding.

Back home now.

.

Receive text from Prince Charming 

"Would be good to meet this week for dinner".

No.

Bad idea.

Will catch up after my holidays. 

Decide to focus on learning to cook for the rest of the evening.

Day 10: I Will Survive.

Past 12am and I am wide awake no sign of the sleep police.

Resort to watching documentary with Jeremy Irons on Shakespeare
Am impressed by my choice.

1 hour later......
Still wide awake
What to do?

Face mask is out - Already covered that this week
Need to stay away from the Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise obsession


Pick up book "Memoirs of an Imaginary Friend by Matthew Green.
Surprised.
Book is actually a good read.
Step up from the tabloids.

Put book down at 2am.
Need to sleep now.
Have work tomorrow

Meditate
Relax
Breathe
Spread out and cuddle up to Shrekkie

Okay, sleep.
Where are you?
Come on, I'm ready for you now.
Is anyone there?

Okay, looks like no beddy byes for me just yet
Tummy is rumbling.
Have a little snack.

Start reading the book again.
Crikey, I check the time and it's past 3.30


Let's try sleeping again

Keep hearing funny noises
I swear I can hear the floorboards creak
Was that the door handle?!
What if it's the Boogeyman?


I am really losing the plot 

Calm down no one is coming into the flat.
Remind myself I live in a complex with 24 hour porterage.

Force myself to think happy thoughts
Don't want to attract dead spirits into the flat - That's all I need.

Finally nod off at 5am.

Shit.
I am so late for work
It's past 8, and I need to get a move on.

So tired.
I want my bed.
Chant positive affirmations - Including the "I am full of energy" one.
Please let it work.

Trowel on the make-up.
Remind myself to put on my smile and happy face.

Arrive at work.
I am Late

My to do list:

• Not to fall asleep at my desk
• Go to the gym
• Book the sewing class for August

I am trying to focus on the small stuff only.

Am drinking copious amounts of green tea to keep me awake.
Have a sudden thought.
What if I end up falling asleep and I end up dribbling?!
Enough, already.

Catch up with Friend Y for lunch
We chat about my "situation"

Have an epiphany
I am surviving on a couple of hours of sleep but still motoring on
This is what it must be like for mums with young kids!
Wow - Hats off to them.
How do they manage?

Nearly fall asleep whilst catching up with my boss!
Have to apologise.
How embarrassing.

Odds of making that Kylie butt class - Slim to Zero.

Switch to lemon and ginger tea.
Gives me a second wind.

Ready for Kylie.

My arse is killing me!
Must be proof I have muscles in my derriere.
Based on the amount of pain I am currently suffering, I'll have Kylie Minogue's bum in a week or too
Uhmmm, should I think about buying those gold shorts now or perhaps later?

Head home
Stop off to buy emergency kit for stretch marks.
Finally worked out, that I do not have cellulite but suffer from stretch marks.
Damn that teenage growth spurt.
I should have realised, I mean have you ever heard of a 16 year old with cellulite?

End up at Body Shop
Buy a chocolate exfoliator - Actually smells just like chocolate
Apparently it's meant to encourage L'Amour....I won't hold my breath.

Buy bio-oil from Boots

Home now.
Cook pasta.

Eye lids are so ready to shut up shop for the day.
Hope I manage to sleep tonight.

Look back on the day.
Wasn't so bad.
Perhaps in the immortal words of Gloria Gaynor "I will survive".

Day 9: (Better Start) New Beginning

Have some really strange dreams.

That whole I am not dating anyone has got to me.

Can't imagine being with someone else.....

I try to think of some ex-boyfriend just to shift my mind away from Prince Charming but I conjure up an image of Dad!

Freud would have a field day on this.

What the hell is that all about?

Try again to visualise anyone but Prince Charming, and this time around the roulette wheel conjures up an image of Brother D.

Leave the psychology to one side, and try meditating as Friend D suggested.

Don't even know how to meditate.

Keep thinking of a black hole in the middle of my forehead to focus on.

Give up.

End up breathing, and fall asleep eventually out of sheer tiredness.

Get up late.

Meant to meet Friend P for breakfast at 10.30am.

Arrive at 11.40am

Never mind.

Chat, and give him a super big hug as he flies back to Oz now. 

Miss him.

Make hasty approach to gym.

Have a power plates class.

I am hoping this will relieve the underlying stress that is still troubling me.

I am dying.

Shit my heart is beating so fast I cannot breath!

I am so unfit. 

How the hell did this happen? 

3 months ago I was running 17 miles, and now I can't even manage a measly power plates class.

Okay, what doesn't kill me is good for me, I keep telling myself.

At the end of class, I am feeling better.

Okay I am unfit BUT I will be looking hot in a few weeks time. 

Visualise those lovely long limbs, toned abs, stomach, and tight bum!
More to the point, Prince Charming's face when he seems me wearing pair of shorts. Okay it's worth it.

Go grocery shopping.

Even the trolleys are against me.

No trolleys, so only have basket left.
I suppose given I'm only shopping for one now I've been downgraded to a basket.

Whizz around.
Really strange as my normal ritual is to buy cheese, steaks and beers for Prince Charming.

Now, no need.

I don't even have to worry about what flavour of yoghurt to buy anymore.

Always the little things that surprise you.

Home.

Decide to change blog and write about post Bed Mate Days
(Read Day 1: Post Bed Mate
& About Me - Post Bed Mate Years)

Spend time planning the week ahead.

All I need to do is to focus on the small things first. 

Plan the small things, take control of those, forget the white elephant in the room.
Just need to keep reminding myself that.

This week need to exercise every day, book sewing classes, catch up with Friend D.

Don't forget to smile, put my happy face on when I do my make-up.
No one's died. 
Need to keep on moving.

Day 8: (Slow) New Beginning

So tired.
Set the alarm for 7.30am but only manage to nod off at 6.30am.
Stuff the gym, let me sleep now.

Get up.
Grab a shower.
Reading positive affirmations.

Uhmmmm.
How am I feeling?
Okay I feel better.

Realise there is no point trying to deflect the feelings, sadness, and recent experiences.
I need to embrace and take it all in.
Reflect then I can move on, and then I can trust myself not to drink away my sorrows.

Choose my outfit for the day.
I want to look good.
Like what I see. 
Cool and understated chic.
Apply the make-up and smile.

Don't forget to keep smiling I remind myself.
Happiness is a habit.
Perhaps I'm missing Prince Charming more because I am used to him being around.
Being my Bed Mate.

Today is going to be a great day.
I get to spend time with my friends.

Catch up with Australian friend on Brick Lane.
Friend P returns my sunnies, and a bottle of rum that I left with him.
P takes me to the cheapest leather goods store in London. The leather jackets and bags are so yummy.
See one I really like. I need to come back when I have more cash.

Have a bagel at the famous bagel store.
Really yummy, and dirt cheap.
Chat and depart.

Feeling upbeat.
Meet Friend D and we head out to a birthday barbie.

Barbie is fantastic.
Great to catch up with friends, and their kids, and partners.

Manage to navigate conversation away from Prince Charming.
Thank goodness.
Don't need a spoiler.

Doing so well BUT subject crops up of our split.
Am I smiling looking confident?

Use the "If it's meant to be it's meant to be" phrase.
God I HATE that phrase!
Who came up with that.
It implies you can't actually do anything about your life because it's predestined.
If that is the case, why do we bother?!


My friend M, bless her, reminds me, if you want something to happen, make it happen.
The words register and break through into cloud cuckoo land where I've been this past week.

Leave barbie, and head out for drinks and boogie.

I am having fun with Friend D but I notice that I am more quiet than usual, and not in the mood to chat to random strangers.
I can feel the invisible rays emanating from me, and attacking anyone who gets within my radius.
When a guy chats about some mindless CRAP I really cannot banter with him.
I just tell him to ask the people he wants to talk to and go to them.

Love the DJ/bar man.
He always plays our tunes, and for always offers me shots.
Okay this time I surprise him, and take the bottle of rum out of the bag.

As the night progresses, am dancing with Friend D, and don't mind chatting to random people for the rest of the evening. 
That is until someone asks for my number.
Well it was all going so well until he asked me if I was dating anyone.
In the past I would have said YES
But this time I have to say NO

Hate saying that.
I find it so so uncomfortable.
I shift my weight from foot to foot - I really don't know why but at least I can control my actions.

Damn, need to start working out this dating malarkey
Let's leave it until I need to cross that bridge (not for another 20 years!)

Time to go.
Go to bed with mixed feelings.

Doesn't help that someone has swiped my card and spent £230 on it.
Only discover it's missing when I am home.

Sleep, sleep.
Breakfast with Friend P, and gym tomorrow
Think of body beautiful. How great you will look when Prince Charming next sees you.